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inn-s-(e/e)p/i-re-d-0f-t- (h-) 0/0- k- n0b-0d-e-ye- d-g-en-e-d-p0-0l-e-(a-d-)ve-n-(t-) d-

c-0/n-(e-) t- 0/0- t-he-ed- be- li/e-ve- d-

e/b- t- i'm- e-'s- h- a-re- in- g- a- gree- d-

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Samantha Bee kicked off her first show of 2017 with praise to the comedy gods for the latest allegations against Donald Trump.

“Hallelujah, it’s comedy Christmas,” Bee said of the unverified dossier of opposition research on the president-elect that was published by BuzzFeed this week and included scandalous, graphic descriptions of alleged sex acts.

“The only verifiable thing about this report is how much joy it gave me,” Bee said of the dossier, which Trump himself slammed as “fake news” on Twitter.

“It’s been barely 24 hours since the story broke and there are more Trump golden shower jokes on the internet than there are golden shower videos. There’s a high probability this story is bullsh– but the fact that it’s plausible bullsh– is a terrifying statement about what our nation has come to. No one would ever believe that President Obama paid anyone to urinate on him; he’s got people to do that for free,” Bee joked, showing a photo of Republican leaders Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell.

Calling the allegations against the president-elect “pretty ludicrous,” Bee still noted that she found it “fun to watch a livid Orange Julius explain that he can’t be into watersports because he’s a germaphobe.” (“Does anyone really believe that story?” Trump said during a press conference on Wednesday, his first in six months. “I’m also very much of a germaphobe, by the way, believe me.”)

But while the story provided Bee with plenty of laughs, she found Trump’s response unsettling. “We may have just witnessed what the history books might call the end of America’s tradition of a free press,” she said of Trump’s press conference, where he attacked CNN for reporting on the dossier and his team claimed the network published the full report. (It did not; BuzzFeed posted the dossier soon after CNN’s story published.)

“Your organization is terrible,” Trump said to CNN reporter Jim Acosta on Wednesday. “I’m not going to give you a question. You are fake news.”

“Yeah, no, I’ll take a question from you: the cartoon frog giving a thumbs-up sign,” Bee joked. “We can only hope that the incontinent sex-worker frosting draws attention to the report’s less delicious details about Russia manipulating our president. After all, as the old Disney song goes, a spoonful of hooker urine helps the treason claims go down.”

c-0/n- t-(0-)u/r-in-(e-)d-0f-t-'sup-p-lie-d-0f-t-en-d-(en-)eye-(t-)d- 0f-t-(h-)in-e-d-

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rut-h-weist-put a "word" on me, s-(h-) 0-we-t/h-rich-biancull-i-ed- can-e- re- c-(L-)aim-i/t- 0- pen- (a-) ll- (t-) e-ye-... a- "t"

rut-h- f-x-full- ie- (ye-) d-'s- e/e- k- t- w/-h0- re- p- (L-)ace- d-

e- (a-) f-x-f- ace- d-

0f- t-0/0t- 0ff- t- a- re- inn- s-p-(L-)ai- d-

e/b- t- heir- d- 's- (h-) all-0- w/e- (d-)g- (e-) 0- d- g- (r-) ave- d-(g-)

en-am-e- L-ed- 's- c-am-e- d-

"ewe" did not bring awareness t w/id th (y) our e "name"- d- 0f- t- b- rain- d-

rut-h-weist-put a "word" on me, s-(h-) 0-we-t/h-rich-biancull-i-ed- can-e- re- c-(L-)aim-i/t- 0- pen- (a-) ll- (t-) e-ye-... a- "t"

rut-h- f-x-full- ie- (ye-) d-'s- e/e- k- "t-'s" (h-) 0 - w/e- inn- g- a- gree-d-

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h-i've- d- e/b- t-he- (x-') s- c0-r-(e-)t0rc-he-d- h- and-le-ye- (re-t0-rt-he-) t0rque- d-

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t rue st e(a.)d. (h) ea.r inn d e~t/h fxf a ct (e)a. re a.d.

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(t) w/h0 d/i s t a s/s k inn g this que st i 0/n e ve(i)n (t) d

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w/h at w/00 d p~L e~a.se th ew/e t00 L0 0k t(c) 0/n e tu

t00 th eave~n 's and en mar kn 0t (h) i s/s u e w/e d

(p.r.)i'm e/d

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a- t-i'm-e- at- he- ha-nd-

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By Scott Malone

BOSTON (Reuters) - Donald Trump on Thursday tweeted his support of Maine catalog retailer L.L. Bean after an activist group opposed to the U.S. president-elect called for a boycott of the company.

The boycott call began online last week after reports that a member of the Bean family that owns the company, best known for its rubber-bottomed hunting boots, had donated money to Trump's candidacy.

"Thank you to Linda Bean of L.L. Bean for your great support and courage," Trump said in a tweet early on Thursday. "People will support you even more now. Buy L.L. Bean."

The "Grab Your Wallet" website added L.L. Bean, based in Freeport, Maine, to a lengthy list of retailers it is urging Trump opponents to boycott because of their ties Trump, who will be sworn in on Jan. 20.

L.L. Bean scrambled to distance itself from Linda Bean's donations, noting that she was one of more than 50 members of the founding family associated with the 105-year-old company, which described itself as politically neutral.

"Our owners, employees, and customers hold views and embrace causes that are individual and diverse," the company said in a statement late on Sunday. "We fully acknowledge and respect that some may disagree with the political views of a single member of our 10-person board of directors."

A spokeswoman for the company did not immediately respond to a request for comment on Thursday.

Trump's tweet drew responses from supporters and opponents on Thursday, some of whom vowed to boycott the company, others who said they planned to buy its merchandise.

Trump has taken on several prominent U.S. companies, including United Technologies Corp's (UTX.N) Carrier air conditioning unit and General Motors Co (GM.N) for manufacturing products outside the United States.

His track record of pouncing on high-profile executives has left the leaders of corporate America wary of waking up one morning to find themselves Trump's latest target.

Maine is politically divided. It has a split Congressional delegation and a two-term Republican governor, but former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton carried the state in the Nov. 8 election.

On Thursday, Governor Paul LePage, a vocal supporter of Trump, praised Linda Bean.

"It is reprehensible how progressives have bullied her and her family's company," LePage said. "I encourage Mainers and customers around the globe to continue their strong support of L.L. Bean."

"ewe" are -ad- just moving "complimentary" -e- s-hi-t- a- re- round- "ewe" did not contribute inn the first place t00 t(h/r) 0/n e

t 0/ne

h 0/ne

r 0/ne.

L00-k- t- (c-) 0/n-e- gen-t- le- ad- (r-) 0/n-e- d-

0f-t's- e/e- d- be- ad-'s- p0-ke- d-

a-re- (t-) r/0-ped-

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this doesn't actually mean any e t hing e t00 th an(d) e'ye 0/n e g~i've n t inn "time"-(d-) vain- d-

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(h-) ap/e- less- t- mass- t- e/n- t- p.r.-0u(d-)t-

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f-0-re-s-t- a-b- l-e-ye- z- ate-i0n-s-g-0ut-

a- "g-0-le"m- e/n- d-'s- a.m.(e-)-a.g-i-c-'s-ea.m.-(e-)a.g-i f/t-he- ad-

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miss- (p-)en- t- w/-id- t(h-) i/t- 0ut-

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t heir (e~a. ll y) is kn 0 w/e value (d) showing t up s am 0/n g(d) "ewe" (d-) s- 0/d- 0f- t- 's- n-ewe-s-

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(f-)r-eel-ye- d0 we really need tw/h0' s ta ll k t a b(0)ut -h(e)- in-(d-)vi-s-able- ad-s- c-(0-)u-r-t- inn - t- i'm- e- debt-a-s/s-(h-)i/r-k- t- h- and- jerk- t- 0- w/-e-(a-)re- d- in-e-rt-

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the re cu(e)s~all 0f t's aid ('s t a t e d) g-(L-)0-re-ye-(t-)is- a - differen-t's- t- 0- r-e- ye-

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e ve(i)n (d) be (a.)d.

d e/b the re c~u/s/e a.ll t00 th a.d. e pt h~ea.ve(i) n~d

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rut-h-0-we-is-t- put "a" s/s- "word" on me, s-(h-) 0- we- ad- r-ich- bian-cull-(t-)i-ed- can-e-re- claim-i-t/t- 0- pen- (a-) ll- (t-)e-ye- a.- t- w/-id- t-he-

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g~i've th eg~if t 0 ff t i'm e ve(i)n t00 t(h) c h(e)a.r t i'm e d0ff th ea.r t/h inn (e)d i/t hing e~ d en

a're ye a.r t/h f(a.)m.

i'll ye a.r h earth (d) 0 w/h~ 0'Le ye s 0'Le (ye) d

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Rep. Barbara Lee, D-Calif. (Photo: Jason Reed/Reuters)

At least five Democratic lawmakers have announced their intention to skip Donald Trump’s inauguration next week as a protest of the president-elect’s plans for the country. The boycotters make up a small fraction of the 535 House and Senate members, but their decision to protest represents a break with tradition that they say is warranted by Trump’s agenda, which they see as extreme.

Rep. Barbara Lee, D-Calif., told Yahoo News she decided she couldn’t celebrate Trump’s inauguration because of his comments during the campaign about temporarily barring Muslims from entering the country and his vow to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border.

“I thought about it over and over again — it’s not a decision I came to lightly,” she said Thursday. “I thought about it very carefully because I do believe in democracy and this peaceful transfer of power.”

Lee was among a handful of Democratic lawmakers who objected last week to thecertification of the Electoral College results on the House floor. She said she objected because of her concerns over Russian interference in the election.

“There are going to be moments where some of us are going to have to say, ‘Enough is enough,’” Lee told Yahoo News. “It’s going to happen more — this is a very unusual and extraordinary time.”

Lee said there isn’t an organized effort to get Democrats to skip the Inauguration — which is generally a bipartisan celebration of democracy and the transfer of power — but each lawmaker is making up his or her own mind. Former Presidents George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter have all said they will attend the ceremony. Hillary Clinton, Trump’s vanquished rival, is also set to be there.

Lawmakers often skip the inauguration due to personal conflicts or a desire not to be there, according to Raymond Smock, director of the Byrd Center and a former historian of the House of Representatives. “It’s not a big deal if they’re missing it,” Smock said.

But what makes the decision of Lee and her colleagues unusual is their announcement that they are making a political statement by skipping the ceremony.

This week, Rep. Luis Gutierrez, D-Ill., announced his intention to boycott the celebration on the House floor.

“I could not look my wife, my daughters or my grandson in the eye if I sat there and attended as if everything that candidate Donald Trump had said about ‘the women’ — about ‘the Latinos,’ or ‘the Blacks,’ ‘the Muslims’ — … that any of that is OK or erased from my memory,” he said.

Rep. Jared Huffman, D-Calif., announced he could not “politely applaud” the beginning of a “dark and dangerous chapter” in American history.

Rep. Earl Blumenauer, D-Ore., wrote on Facebook that he would spend the day back home listening to his constituents in order to “prepare for the coming assault on the values and programs we hold dear.”

And Rep. Katherine Clark, D-Mass., told the Boston Globe that she didn’t want to “normalize” Trump’s promotion of “bigoted, misogynist, anti-Semitic, and racist claims” by attending his inauguration.

s-0/m-e- t-h-and- b-0/m-b- me-ye-t's-aye-t-his-(t-) 0 - w/e- t-he- "seize" i(s-)t- a- me-(a-)i.d.-'s- am- e/n- g- (r-) ave- d- --- ha-v0id-(b-)ab-b-le-(ye-)ad-

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mu t/t e l/l e ye t(h) en d

s m~u t/t er(e) in(n) g r0und

0 w/i th0u t' s mu dg e inn g a g(r)e a.d.

just b.c. an~ d(e)Le ye

s mu dg e w/e g a w/(h)e ye d (h) inn d p(L) a ce (d) 0 b r~ave (i'l/l) y~e n ave (ye) d (inn ere) b rain d

's m/0 k inn g f ai r 0 (w/) e

a.d. e/b t (u)be (a.) d. (e/t) h~ave d

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cur-e- t-he-r/r-in(n-)g- bu-ye- t-he- s- mu- dg-e- d's- m-/0-k-inn-g-'s-us- t- (u-) b- c- -d-

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en g~ag e inn c0/m b a/t with th en em ye~a. t 0 p~en l/l e ye~n g(r) ave d ewe

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i look aboriginal ;) no make up, waking up, not your right to judge the beauty you didn't b r in(n) g t w/h0 e ve(i)n t u/p t 0're par (e)t a' ke~ g as/s (p.) m.u c~h t (a g(L)0' ve d)

b (r) 0ugh~t 0 w/h at eve r d~(g)0 w/an 't

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d

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0 h/t

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0'r(e) t

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d

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0ff (i) t 0 ff t c0urse d

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re-x- t- ill-ere-s-0/n-d-(e-)'s- a- w/ar-e- t- "we"a-r-(t-) 0/n-e- d- h- and- (c-)0/n- e- d- en- are- d-0-ve- d- e/b-t- heir- d-0f- t-'s- um-e-0/n- d-

this person never brought h~0 p/e t00 th e 's t able (i)sh (e) d a re a.ll' s c~0 p(i)e~ (ye)d e/b t~h t a(i') l/l en (t) d

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"a" r-eeL- w/-(h-)as-t-e- toff- t- w/-at-ere- d-/i-(e-)sup-p0se- d-

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1/14/2017 b re a.d. r e'ye s i'nn (g) th t i'm (e)inn t~h and f~0'r(e) a. ll d 0ff t b(r)0ugh t

look, this looks like an attractive coupling, don't know these people, however they do look comfortably warm and receptive together, yet there is something i don't 'bu ye' about their level of 'expressed' intimacy, -like- they are falsely naked together.

is it sufficient e tu be ad h app eye for-t-h-em- ed- apparent ly e

fxf r0m kn 0 w/e re a. l/l' s t a r(e) t 0/0 t(h) c~a(i)r e'ye the m(e)a.r k/t

heir inn d e t(h) par (e) t

a' re a.r~ t~ h ere

d a'r(e) t

g- L-(0-ve-d-)a.m.- room-e- vain- d-0f-t-

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ab 0'r(e)i gi/n all eg f L0 w/(h)ere me r/r e'ye g 0 all d

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b-Lat-he-r-'s-(k-)i/t- e-

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en g L* is h'

s p~an (d) i/s h

t00 th and' s(h) ake d a'te

fxf i/'s (h) eigh t'

0/n e t i'm e (d) fxf ace t00 the l/l (e) a. s/s t ate

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these s-h-all-0-we-d- 'ford's' are all the s-am-en-d-'s- a- ga-in- d- 0f- t's- p0ke-n- t- (r-) en- d-

apparently spoken as/s fortified 0/n e w/0m en d, b ut/t ere not "one" brought with i'm 0'r e (t a ll d)(h~e) m inn th actuall be spoken time s (L)0 t

t 0/0 th t 0 (w/) e ft (a) l/l (b) en d

un s aid

en eye t r~e v e

(n) d0w/(e) a.re t00 th b (L(h)) en d

0 w/ri(g) t~e 0's a w/h e'ye d

(h) all a w/n d

(h)ea. d. r~0/n e

ed le t(hr) 0/n e

ed le (ye) w/e

d (en) eye tu

'a' = b = 0're a. l/l ye t00 t(h) pre miss (t) a ct u all e'ye a. T

0/n e t (a)i'm e inn g's e/e k/t

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t~h0 u/re gardening' s us c0 p(i)e(ye) d h0 ped h inn directi0/n all eg(r) 0 w/(e) th d

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th t(h)r e/e ve~r eye d ewe s

(t) a~nd (e) u/s t 00 t hu(e)s/s e/e x par t a' t0/n e w/e d (0) b miss t re a.d.

' s~n ewe 's~i e~ve nd ew/e (si') re x i/s (t) u b m~use d

0 w/e ll e s/s t 0(0) le (a.)d.

a ft er(e) t 0'L(e) d 0' b re a.d.

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d0 (w/e) s e/e qua ll 's e th c~ap a city e t00 t(h) 0/0 kn 0 w/e d ew/e (a.)ve n d's (h) 0 w/e (d) g (e) 0/d e (a.) l/l ta t 0 (w/) e d (0) bu ye c/c a s/s t inn g th fxfir's t 0/n e~

g ~lig i/b le (a.) s/s t 0/0 kn 0 w/(e) inn g t(h)r u/e we d~0 h/t ' L0 A.(n)D.

(e/b t a gain d~h and)

g's~us (t ) c0 p(i) e (ye) d

e'ye t

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he-x-am-p-le- d- e/b- t- he- ad-d- l(i-)e-d- about- he- t- l0-af-(t-)-fed- h-and-he- l/l-(i-e-)d- about-he- t- b-re- ad- e/p- t-hu(e-)s/s-miss-t-re- ad- ea- f-x-f- t00-t-he- t-(a-)r-eeL-0-ad-s- (p-)en- d's- - - us- pen- d-'s- - - - (k-) ill- e-(a-)ve-n- d's- a- gain- d- (ea-)f-x-f- 0- r-(e-) t- r-eeL-a- gain- s-(t-) am- e/n- d- g- am- e/n- d's- t- e- n- (t-)d-'sup-p0-rt- 0/0-t-he-re-s0-rt- he- d- c0/n-s0-rt-

w/i.d. t(h) 0/0 kn 0 w/e valu e w/(h) ea. t e i0/n syn/th c0 h0 rt per the *me 0/n e'ye'*(yapparently e) -t-a- x- i/s- t- a- f-x-f- 0- r- (e-a-) d-'s- t- e- ad-

these s-h-all-0-we-d- 'ford's' are all the s-am-en-d-'s- a- ga-in- d- 0f- t's- p0ke-n- t- (r-) en- d-

apparently spoken as/s fortified 0/n e w/0m en d, b ut/t ere not "one" brought with i'm 0'r e (t a ll d)(h~e) m inn th actuall be spoken time s (L)0 t

t 0/0 th t 0 (w/) e ft (a) l/l (b) en d

un s aid

en eye t r~e v e

(n) d0w/(e) a.re t00 th b (L(h)) en d

0 w/ri(g) t~e 0's a w/h e'ye d

(h) all a w/n d

(h)ea. d. r~0/n e

ed le t(hr) 0/n e

ed le (ye) w/e

d (en) eye tu

b(e)re a.d. e/b t a cr0ss t ewe n(d) ewe

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b 0/0 m e/r a~ng e l/l (e) a~d. just b. c.' d

j-ai-L/L- (d-) counten(d-)ance s/s-t-a-x-i/s- t- couldn't be h(e) ad

as/s (k) t00 th (inn d) 0/n e~

(a.) g 0/n e

b re a.d.

g-lance-d-h-arm-s- t-(r-)0/n-(e-)g-

as/s-t-(u-)b-m-aid-

all-0/n-e- g- 0/d-

h(e) a.d. ' sel ~l fxf t/h ere a. s/s we~l/l d

(h) all a ll 0/n (e) g~0/d

's (in) n~ew/e d(e)u/s t (c0m)(b) inn (e) d e/b t00 th~e t~a te l/l (e'ye w/e ll e/a.) d. h ea.r th ea.ve n~ d (0) be h0 LD

ha te~ll w/i th0u t (a' i') l/l en d

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w/-t-f-- t-heir- d-0f- t/h-ere-

me-w/e- t- a- mar-c-he- d- 0/n- e- w/-(h-)as/s-h-in- g- (a-) t-0/n- (e-) d- g-(e-) 0/-d-('s-) 0/n- g-

how can you criticize donald trumps "mainsplaining" treatment of female reporters, when you allow this bilge (b-i/ll-g-e-) d- e/b- t-(u-) be- ap- pro-noun-ce-d- 0/n- e- m-(y-) 0-re- h-ea- d- as/s-h-e-a-r-d- 0f- t- (h-) inn- (d-) s- t-e- ad-

s-n-ass-t-(e-)ye- "cosmo-polit'an-d-

h-and-e-ye- t/h-sir-e-me-ye-(d-')s-

a-l-(le-)t- ere-d- (h-) all- 0/n- (e-) g-

0- d-

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k - 0's- m0's- w/-(h-)0/r- (L-) d- e/b- t- a- re- (d-h-) 0-rd-ere- d-

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this "cosmopolitan" b-ran-d-(h-)in(n-)g- e- d- um- s-

you can criticize donald trump for having -a-m-e-ye-d- h- and- 0f- t- h- inn- de-sig-n-ere- d- s- m/u-t-t-her- d-0f- t-he- d-0f- (i-)t- he- t- inn-t-ere-s- (t-) augh-t-

t00-t-he- w/-h0- d- h- and- 0f- t-ha-b-u-s-e- d- 0f- t-(h-) en- d- (e-) u/s-t- e-w/e- (d-')s- (h-) a- b-u-s-e- t-he- t- (h-)rue- d-

im-a-g-e- is-t- a-s/s- im/p-0-r-(e-) t- a-n-(d-) t- a-s/s- t-he- t- rue- st- (h-) at-'s- (t-) and-('s-) ewe- d-0f- t- in-(s-) nit- w/-h0- d- ab-u-s-e- d-i'm-e/n- t-"('s-)in-e-" d- he-r/r-0-(d-)s-e- g- race- s/s- e- t- h- (r-) use- d- 0f- t-(h-)in-(e-) d-

0-b-serve-d-(h-)all-t-a-re-d- 0/n- g's-us- t- a- g-0- t- c- a-rt- a- gain- d-('s-) im-p-le-x-i- c0/n-e- d- 0f- t- a- re -a-r-s-e-g-ea-r-s-e- ed- ewe- (d-) s-us-t-hu(e-) s/s-he-a-r-d- e/b- t- w/-h0- d- b- r- av-e- (t-he-)d- c- a- (i-) r/r- e- ye- d- ('s-) 0/n- g-(e- d-)ewe- d- h0-ver- t-L0-A-(n-)D- en-eye- (t-he-) d- 0- p-en- (a-) ll- (t-) e-y(e-) a- w/ar-e- ad- s- qua-re- ad-force-scene- f-x-f- a- (i-)r- e- ad-dress-t- a- (i-)r-e-d-

i- (c-) t- 0- f-x-f- t0ff- t-hat-he-d-0f- (i-)t- i/t- 0ff- t-he- f-r0m-e- d- i- c- t-'s- t- 0- (0-) L- e- (a-) d-h-and-('s-) 0- L- (e-) d- i- (c-) t- p.r.-0- w/- t- i'm- e- me- 0-'s- t- 0- (0-) L- e- (a-)d- 0/u-(be-) t- 0ut- a- c0/n-(e-) t- (r-) 0- l/l- e- d- i- (c-) t-'s- c-0/p- (e-) s- (t-) c- ape-r-d-0f-t-a- gain-d- 0-w/ar-e- t00-t-he- t- 0- w /-e-(a-)re- (e-) f-x-f- a- (i-) r- e- t- a- gain- d-('s-)im-p-l(y-)e- x- i/t-'s-he-a-r- d- g-0/d-he-a- ven- (t-) d-'s- a- gain- d- (h-) inn- d- 's- h0- (w/) e- d- ewe-

b-ran-d-i/ng-t-rick-t-

a- w/-ai-t-

c0/n(e) verse l/l e ye w/ can't pet i t~i0n e 'w/(h)a t~a re' w/e d h~ave~n t' s (p) en t h/ei/r d ew/e ft~h ere a. l/l (e) a. s/s (t) 0 w/e d

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item53

if eros n ewe how too st 00 l e ad i/t would be a re all he ad 0ff t me (an s e/e ... k ... (i)t i/t (h) 0/0 kit~h t w/h0 d 0ff (i) t 0ff t(y0)u

what is going on here in the s-n-ewe-s- is every thing is coming to a 'head' and it is going to be a "head" ore it is going to be a 'head', and the "h-ea-d-" is going too try to be-he-ad- on the competitive time frame, and hear it is going to be h a.d. e ve(i)n d h and yew/e are the well c0m e t00 th d j0 in t me ~ a.s/s u/re we ll

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d-un-g-0/d- l-ye-ness-t-(inn-)a-re-vi-s/i-0/n-s-0-le-w/e-t-i0/n- d-'s-(t-)in-e- ed- le- ye- d-0f-(i-)t-en-0-ugh- t-inn-t-i'm-e- a-s/s-u-re- (ad-'s-)ly-e- d- en- eye- d- ew/e ve in kn ewe d

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t-his-t-is-sup-p0-rt-(h-)ing-e-t-he-"pay-t-"r-0/n-e- m(e-) a-s/s-u-re- d-'s-an-e-w/e-ed-be- am-ea.-s/s-u-re-ad-'s-

song-'s-us-(t-)and-e/b-t-he-t-a- p0-lice- d- 0f-t-vice-"r('s)" ide -buy-e- "t('s)" ide- s- b.c. y (e)a. r th doesn't (h) 0/0 kn 0 w/h ea.r t(h) 0 ~ u~se th fxf r a.(i.)m. e(n) d e/p t(h) ea.ve~n d h and le (a.)ve n t/h (r) inn d

b r~i.'d.e (a.) d.

(h and e t/h0 ar's~e ve(i)n t)

p(a)L~a ce de a.t(h) e fxf ace t00 the. g.(u)e s/s t ate d ate a. g (r) i'nn d

ew/e the ta t 0/ne t w/h0 d b e(g) i'nn g L~ew/e d

as/s (h) 0/n e b/0 0/t as/s kn 0 w/e d c(0)u/rt c~a s/s t 0/n e~

inn er(e) t as/s t/h r 0w/e th rue the w/inn d 0 w/e ve (i)n

~ kn ewe d

(h)e a.d. 0 w/ n/d

initially e it may be difficult too the make th p.r.0 fi/t 0/n e this time line be a.m. kn 0t (e)a. m.iss ta'ke n t re a.d.' s e/e n f 0're th' s~ay inn (s) t a~b le a.d. g r~ace s/s (w/)inn g's~ a gain s the w/(h)inn d's e/e (n) fxf 0'r(e) t ' s 0/m e t h inn g e~a.r(e) in(n) g ('s)

e t00 Le (a.+ d.)ve~n t/h (0/u) r e miss (p) en t(h) inn d c~a(i)r e'ye inn g the re s i.'d e/n t ce s/s e x ce s/s h0(n)e d

a re mu's 0/a re d(h) 0/m e

t00 th f (L) i/g ht (h)~i s/s hue w/(e) inn kn 0 w/e

re m e/x i/t (y) 0/u/r e a.d. ~ 0(0) re

(inn) c(h) 0/m e

a.d. g(a)L 0're

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g i've th d(e) b r~i.'d. e m en t d ewe' s~i eve(i)n t(h)r u/e w/e (n) d ' Sue

(w/e) t00 t (h f) all 0 w/(h) e/a. t

w/i.d. t(h) a g (i/0)~r e/as/e (e)d, th (ea.) d.' sig n e're L ease d i'm e/n t 0'r e s(t) 0/a r (ea.)d.

a.m. 0(0)re~ a.d. ew/e

's~peak t w/h0 d e'ye w/e

tu t00 th inn k t w/h0

dap-p-raise-yew/-too-th-'s-(h-)ave- d- ewe- f0r-t-e-"ye-w/e- s-"t-a- nd- (h-) ab-u-s-e- d-

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s-he-w/-(h-)as-g-i've-in-g-t-her-e-s-pec-i/f-i-c-t-i0n- d- countenance-t00-t-h0c-c-as-e-i0/n-

de-am-e-inn-g-t-he-f-f- ace- t00-t-he-r-a-ce-re-gen-e-re-ate-inn-g-

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the difference for me, politically, is that i do not have a tail-lieing-too-the-re-fl00r-e-st- ore -d-. i wouldn't show my face without my hhhhh a rd 0(0)r e

a.d. h and h ar(e) b 0're a.d.

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i me an s if (t)e'ye were going too take off t clothing

w hhhhh at would i take doff t

conscious ness t (h) and 0ff t

ex (i) t p0's e/e d 0ff t's c/0 p/i e'ye d ('s) un d ere s c0 ped heir t r~0p e d 0 w/are a.d. h and 0 w/t m 0/a. t~ hat~ hr 0 a/t~h d

t-ex-(i-)t- p0-s-e/e- d- 0f- t-'s- c0p-e-d-0-w/ar-e-ad-s- h-are-t-(r-)0-p- ed- e/b- t- (a-) L/L-0-at-h-(e-) d-

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too-L0-at-he-miss-t-a-ke- d-0h-t-ere-s- c0-p-ed-0/m-and-0/m-e-r-e-ye- s- t- a- ke- d-e/b- t00-t-he-re- L- aye- T- inn- t- i'm-e- tu- t-a- ke-d- ewe- s- m-ate-

e'ye don't want any cannonization, e'ye d just 0 want u b f0und 0/u(be)t

you-r-e- s-a.d.-'sac-t's-n-ad'-s- he-a-rt- h- "ere" h-and-(y-)our-heir- is-(h-)e-ar-d-. men have what they wan-t- "se(e)-x" -i/t-heir-t-pen-is- t- fo-(i-)st-ere-d- e/b-t-a- g0- in- ad-i-re-ct-i-0/n-(d-)0-mat(t-)ere-th- s-pi/n- e- d-0f- (i-) t- inn- t- ere- s-(t-) augh-t- "inn" follow thru "inn" -d- (h-)0-ve- d- 0f-(i-) t- a- g-(L-)0-ve- d- : the "ag" w/-inn-s- n0 matter your stand -o-ore- s- t- and- f-am-ill-i-are-too-t-he-t's- p-(L-)an-(t-)d-

"you" are seeking my value rich bianculli- et-a-ll-d- when it is clear "ewe" do not have the ability in f a ct a ct. your desire is nullified before you-r-e-very- t- i'm- e-

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Despite the fact that I have in ways large, small, and painful, worked for the LDS Church my entire life, I've never received a penny from it. Not even a coupon.

Note: This includes the time I had to go to the hospital because I was knocked down twice in five minutes by the same church welfare cow.

For my church, I've cleaned ditches, roofed houses, vaccinated livestock, fixed plumbing and even canned chili. I've also held various time-heavy jobs like being in bishoprics and serving as an Elders Quorum president. Not a pay stub to show for any of it.

It gets even crazier. I once worked for two years as a full-time missionary in a faraway land, the privilege of which I had to pay for myself.

Actually, I didn't. My parents paid for it. Prior to receiving a call to work for free, I'd blown every nickel I had on riotous living. Pleased that I was still alive and not incarcerated at the age of 20, my parents were happy to kick in.

For all the free work I've done, it has never bothered me that I didn't get paid. Being a worker bee is part of the Mormon gig. We don't flaunt that beehive emblem around for nothing.

When the church wants some work out of us, it simply asks. The request comes as a "calling," which is not the same thing as a job offer. There's no negotiating of benefits or stock options.

Among Mormons, there are only two proper replies to a church calling, both of which are "Yes." The difference between them is actually following through and doing the job, and just pretending to.

We are counseled to never say "no" to a calling, although I have. Several times, in fact. But always to the future benefit of the church. They have no idea how many PR bullets I've helped them dodge by saying, "Oh, hell no. I'm not doing that."

But some Mormons do get paid. My sister worked for the church. She got paid. I ride TRAX with both LDS missionaries (unpaid) and church employees (paid). None of them has ever complained about what they get paid.

I don't recall when I realized that LDS general authorities were compensated for their work. This almost certainly means the news didn't bother me enough at the time to file it away for future grousing. It still doesn't.

When it comes to general authorities getting paid, I don't really care how much it is so long as they don't flaunt it like some rapper/pimp. Lots of bling, tricked-out rides, pinky rings, and gold grills are not the best delivery method for telling people to behave themselves.

Now that we seem to know what LDS leaders are paid, it's still OK with me. I say this because I wouldn't do it for that much. Not even close.

If you were to pay me for wearing a necktie even to bed, while simultaneously trying to keep people on the straight and narrow without a machine gun, it would have to be at least seven figures, each and every one of them a nine.

I earn a lot less than that as a newspaper columnist. How much? Well, it's none of your *&#@% business, is it? I do what I do for what I make because it's an acceptable bargain between myself and a tough editor.

Come to think of it, I don't know what I make. I get paid by direct deposit. My wife handles it from there. She seems fine with it, so that's all that really matters in my life.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com orfacebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.

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