From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: July 28, 2015 11:07:21 PM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

hey, i don't get the gist of letting other people comment, but i am done with this. i am just going to make money. does that make you feel better "2" ?

you are putting all the responsibility on me to set you free. sorry. i'm not your chump to abuse in life. call on the c-rux / crutch, and wi-fe-e- 

your gain is m(u)y loss this-w/-aye- and it is your continuing pro-blem~is-h-e-

what i can do for you is market to every one h 'ere on my own terms, solicting them to go the rr.haus website and see for theirself your arrogance in what, look g0-d-e- 

your problem with me is hiding s-kin- de-

you need to fix that with me actually all the way e

beyond your personal fear of showing emotion, you are not bein g f/air e r.

just saying. and you will just become a footnote of abuse, for all to read at some time 0 pen ly e: your house has no meaning.

your good works are vanity. s-mug-ness, and you enable c-harlot- and fu-king-d-aye- 

so, who m"a.d."e the "decision" aga-in-n ?

bro-ken-stoop-i.d.-andy-e- "&" ad-a.m.-, b-lu-e- "2" ?---

or is it "ju-st" that your "Will" is b-a.d. e/b "t0/0"?

your "lu-x-u/r-ye-" is a t0-0le- set- 2- s-cr ew-e-

and i rather despise you for it. for your in-fan-t- shenanigans. i am tired of your scene, looking like you are inn and provisional, w/ hen all you care about is your sc-hem-e-

i want my money back i have invested in you for fonts, i am not allowed to use as and with per view . fuck you~

h~0/m~e think

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 15, 2015 10:57:22 AM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

i had to restart my computer last night as i thought the cursor froze, and what happened after i restarted several times, is i unplugged the keyboard that i thought was the phone recharger, so i could put something else in the hub. when i restarted, i had a new facebook page, or an old one, that i hadn't used before, and people *friending me... i have to say the stroll thru my new/old as unused facebook page, feels very much like t-ravel-in-g- d-own-e-mem or eye l-l an -e- 

i found xubrnt of course, the one i am unable to post on here for some errant reason, and i found acook360 the one my friends are on from another season. that stroll seated me front and center at a predisposed narcissim. i viewed the ups guy i met at the gym years ago. i admired he did a workout while enroute, per his break he would come into the gym and bust a move, and get back to delivering packages... he is now into hardcore beach body selfies, and he looks lean in face, as with an artist i met at trader joes, and then at the gym. i didn't buy jewelry from her (i didn't buy anything at the time of our facebook commingling / although i have been of good c~h/ear) and i do see her at the gym, and she is too busy to say Hi/gh~e a ve/n. this chasing of the go-L-den ring is a love lorn thing, too busy to be in re all i ty e.

i get having a goal, which at some point, i will dilate inbetween the gaps of that, re gag a go all ye. perhaps, i just need some re thinking~ to get across wi~ft plat(e)forming. my impression of logging in today so i apparently have a say is we are sold a b(u)i'll(d) of goods e tu' be independent ly e made, and this really isn't the c/as/e. case in point the artist too busy to pay attention to me in passing / because when we met i didn't "buy" anything, -&- she lost inter-rest (and c-ain-t- a see me for s0/m e t/hing e necessary e) she is manic at the gym. to me, this signifies a newbie. someone that doesn't believe in their skills and accumen. d. bein-g- "0" d-riven by-e- nature as (k-not-s-u/re-)

virtual images of care are not care in deed when you are not a t/h'ere appreciable a.d. 

t hat's your e g0/d m.0.0/ring a m0rning~ 

p lan t0day e w/0~r~k : i'll be in an d0~u~t e

st-oopi.d.- people don't know they k-ill by-e-the-w/ay-e- & it is kn0t my fall t act u al~ly e

de p(r)ave d

fi X this hear or i will find a way to go fore w(h)ar~de without you sim i lar ly e (you are writing on me for no reason e tu`be ar~e)

i'm tired of your gam-e- 

your gam-e- is sim-p-ly-e- to win in vain, and the only way you can pre serve the lie, is by not being seen with relativity e 

your gam-e- is sim-p-ly-e- to win in vain, and the only way you can pre serve the lie, is by not being seen with relativity e ven: i am a re present a t ive 0f wh0 you are h-arming a(i)nd f-arming-. Just for the re c0r(e)a.d.

n0 0ne el's hear e. g.ive s(e/e) y~ew/e

n0 0ne el's hear e. g.ive s(e/e) y~ew/e a/ve~n

sow e dum-b-my- (eye 4 an i)

9/24/65 las vegas clark county 12:47 pm, astrodienst, did your chart on a guess t. it says specifically our chart over l~aid, you have to make room in your House for me. check it out. stop bein-g- st-oop-i.d.- dip shit & get this right 0ne on 0ne ven s U/me 

t-hat- a way andy-e- wont be a. d.-ip-s-hi-t-ether-

bein g 4 re all is my commercial mercantile, and you are s-wiping it. your whole apparent value re-si-de-s-"on" bein-g-a-dip shit on -e- me 

as "with" any dip shit tethe/r-use-e-

you are not one ar~e w/e?

and-y-0-u-&-shar0n-e- do not make the tu`e

pi-sees- in your ho-us-e- bay-e-b/b-e-

 i don't know what else to say, "x" cept go fuck yourself, pre-ten-d- you have k-i.d.'s t hat mat t ere substantial-ly e while you actually are divisive 2 each and e very e b/0 dy e

"We" at "H0-us-e-" make K-i.d.'s- by n0t being a(i)n e X a.m.p le t0 me re t hat can be see n

"We" at "H0-us-e-" make K-i.d.'s- by n0t being a(i)n e X a.m.p le t0 me re t hat can be see n e in re all i ty e

why don't you give me a c/all ™?

let's not be lay b0re a p0int you miss ed 0/n e per-p0se-e-

aga-in-n-

peR-verT-e-

c(r)ooked : c heating 0 per verse w/ p.0.w/(h)ere me(e)te in g

c h/eating

 k-ill by-e-the-w/ay-e- w/(h)t m~aye s0w~e in c0/re~p0/re~ate~d e/b t0 day t (cur-rent-ly-e-t/her(e)is kn0w/(h) e l~l 0 ve t00 the may ke)

ewe ge tit l0/v~e

L i/s~t/en in/n g t hr u e

h0/u/r e X pan d in/n g & pan s(e/e)in g t0/0

the frame work and fret work are 0ne c2si`eve rt u`e~

your e-motions- haven't been t r/i ed f0re all in t i'm e

de's-tit-u-ti-on-e- why do you make this my fall-t- 

fi x this hear or i'm not coming back to view you/r ar(-e-)t  with no re p as t f0/r/m e 

2 x t0 me~w/e

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Andy Goodman Workshop Reminder

Date: July 29, 2015 10:27:19 AM EDT

To: info@quimbyfamilyfoundation.org

If Andy Goodman can write x right with me on www.holliesprague.com, 0 pen ly e, I will attend. If he / you cannot, please remove me from future "spots".

Angela Cook

On Jul 29, 2015, at 10:05 AM, The Quimby Family Foundation <paperlesspost@paperlesspost.com> wrote:

*(FYI : i post on House Ind Facebook page, and email a copy e t0 me) & s0/m t i'm e a.d. just 0/m e t hr U e st r 0/n g's aw/e ar~e t~ug a ware all a l0/n*g's (h)ir k f~r0/m t0 w/an d fr0~we. g.0 a.d.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: July 29, 2015 9:06:00 PM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

please stop this silly s-hi-t-

did you just call an ad agency and slap some little squares-a(w/)all can sh-are-?

if your inner strength is b(r)ought to b/ear at the right moment, it would be in time 0n e the line 

oh, yeah, emailed andy goodman, supposedly doing a "gathering" -about- changing the story. the email was to rsvp, and i said if "andy"-e- can write x right on www.holliesprague , i would go, and if he can't to remove me from all future "spots" per "post." 

i don't expect a re p ly e ~ 

does that make you feel like m.o.re of a man in-n-de-ed- well as demonstrated ful lie on me?

the crux of the problem is u/e missing the cr0ss in g-aga-in-n- 

i'd~e as e very e t hing e: you can pre ten d/e

you can pre ten d e/b tu`be an ans w/e~ar e t0 me

get the p/l/a~c~e very e t hing e 

you want to see me appear to dawdle, as you "make" x "up" s-ill-ye-s-hi-t-" "2" buy- &- by-e- ?

t he/n 0. j/ump in/n 

fi g u/r(e)ig ht 0/ut l0/v~e

for/m/e~ye X (s)pec t my time to start to free up, and can start to r/each and r/ich : please don't waste time another d-aye-g.all-the-w/-aye-

i don't understand your withholding -and- the h-and's-in-the-s-0w-in-g- 

the thing is, we all have to get over e f ear. you hap pen to leave me on a l i'm b ... time too the st e p(w/)h~up

fi g u/re 0/u/t : how Y?ou are going to make room fo/r/m/e in your h0 us e/e de li be r(e)at e ly~e w/eigh t 0/w n/0we 

can you do it before i sir m-eyes your ear-ly adoption of orgasmicphobia h-un-satisfied.

a pre ten d: c0/m~mi~t p/l~ed/ge & b/in~d

i will h/ave time for/t/h/e s h0 w~ you just figure how to g 0.

e w/e need (& e w/(h)e need) e/b the p/l/a~c e~

on di's p/lay e 

pre ten d ? you are all ready fascinated with the i'll us(e) i 0n e t/hus s y0ur t re at men -t- 2 - ex c lu de me.

y? serious ly e

the question isn't the X time, it is the dna Y mi-t-m-use-e-

t-in-k-er(e)-in-g-

as is, you are not selling~e a re all 0 v'all u e at all

just hi-t-an-d-is-miss- 

pre ten d~e ar/c an~d's aye. g.0 all t he~w/~ay~e

the numbskulls pre-ten-d-e- 

soon, i will have my own time on my own frame, work slows down, and i have money saved = no worries for/t/h/e t i'm e b/bein g~ave, and if you want a time frame to w/h0 r k in, t hat can 0' b/e ar r/ang~e d

until you create a way b/r~ave, i appear to dawdle nd you s-t-ill the see n-ap parent-ly-e- 

s0 w/(h)eye want f/air e in sum mary e

you pro vi de the way on your t~e/ar~ms 

so funny, "andy e. g.0(0)d man" : he is talking a-bout- c-h/ang-in-g-the s-tor-y-e- & it h0/ne st ly e (s)qual-l's not hinge 

p/l~ease rsvp w/hen you h/ave & w/(h)0 0d e.g. a in/n 

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 16, 2015 8:10:31 AM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

omg0~sh it looks it is going to be a h/0 t for a string a days at least. i may be going to the beach today w/an dye. i am thinking of relocating the computer to the salon, as it has an air conditioner. should i tell you?…

what i have been working on is eddm: every door direct mail. to fi x it.

curiously, i spoke with jesse crabtree here, after i went to the post office, and got the termed 'appropriate' connection, and spoke with him, he gave me his email, i have emailed him twice with no response and called and left a message. no response in over a week.

--

2nd email: From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Subject: Fwd: eddm

Date: August 13, 2015 9:54:48 PM EDT

To: "jesse.j.crabtree@usps.gov" <jesse.j.crabtree@usps.gov>

Hello Jesse,

I spoke with you Friday about mail piece design for Every Door Direct.  I have selected these routes to mail the 8.5 x 5.5 postcard, with the provision to see if we can mail it undersized this time.

This is a screen shot of 6 routes selected.

If this is possible, I will need to print label addresses, and the indica ? mark, separate from the address label?

Thank you for your assistance. The time frame for delivery is early September, although I am flexible with this learning curve.

What to do next?

Angela Cook

207-//////////

--

for $482 i can mail 2636 people, using eddm, with label cost additional = about .18 cents plus cost to print label. otherwise it costs me 49 cents per card, and i most likely have to purchase a mailing list at about 10 cents per person, and i am not sure of the validity of the address or person. Thus, i have been waiting, on this "person" that i sir-m'e/yes-on-ly-e-works-in-con-sequence- Also trying not to get pissed of/f, that i am not allowed to partake of a public service, as say you may.

(wit~h0/ut a sec0nd e/b t'h0 u g/ht)  -vs- a second-thought-hat-has-w/rit-ten-a-l0-t-

i do have some ideas to go around him, although i cannot work it on the weekend, and thus, my pro~d/u c~t i/0n e has found a ru-t- that i must pay more for/t/u`

this r0le of pre ten d i/n g t00 the st and i/n/n p/l/ace ven, is actually getting in the way e w/hen it is 0/u/r -e- r-0le-

0n-ly-e- b/by-e- s-0wn-ly-e-

i thought it would be a nice surprise as the eddm routes are in your area ;)

i fi.g~u/re t hat with 0/b~serv(e)at(e)i 0n e, well a.d. just in de(r/e)st in nati0n e: by e the way e J/0/B = J~awe (0) Be~ the 0n ly e v(e)all i.d. j0b in f/act act u al~ly e w/(h)~re serv(e) at(e) i 0n e

i guess t he t/a~ct is tw/h0 m(e)ake th' imp ass

b/atting practice~

sw/(h)ing e s0w eye wanted e/b t00 the' l~let y0u k~n0w/(h) ta s~wing t'high and s~wing l0w/ the p lan e` = g0

this r0le of pre ten d i/n g t00 the st and i/n/n p/l/ace ven, is actually getting in the way e w/hen it is 0/u/r -e- r-0le- a/ve-n-d's-end's-ag/gin-n-

enj0 y0u r(0/a.d) day e~

J*0~b = 0n(e) ly e j0b a.d e q~u ate ly e

b~a.d.e = b~i.d. e/b t0/0 x 2

0rigin German 'ask' / re lay T'D t0 b~i/t ten 0n e~very e t hing i'ven

i bet you: an-d-y-e-g0-0d-man-cen't-er-e-

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Subject: change th~0 story 

Date: July 29, 2015 8:43:22 PM EDT

To: andy@thegoodmancenter.com

please see my work at www.holliesprague.com and announcing www.richroat.haus. 

h0/n 0. r t' g0/d'~s

are not you all-w/-aye-s 0n -e- re t/re-at-e- ?

fi g~s h0 w/~(h)ye 

t0 me~ a.d.

t0 me a.d. bay e b/b~e a.d. 0/c/k and m.0. 0/r(e)in g

you can only go fo r/eward e w/(h)it me 

make room in your house, camera is room in italian, c/am~er a

s0we. g. fi g the way e ven if t~ye pre ten d e/b the w/h'0~le e way e  s0w/ eye c/can~s e.g. u/e 2 f0ll0w t~e

i can't help you if you "bot-h" want to be an in-fan-t- as an a.d.ull-t- 0 pen -ly-e- 

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: July 31, 2015 8:17:48 PM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

ten 0n : n0. un

a pr0jecting pe~ace 0f/ten e(re) w0uld me a.d. f0r e in~si`r~t i/0n e tu` ne in t00 the m. 0.rt i/se in/n an0 t/here pi~e/c/e

d e/at h and h e a/ve n eat 0 rt able a.d. & b a.d.e' s i'm i lar ly e st a~te de n~0/u~e/men t 0/m e t~a~ll a l0/n~gravity e. g.racious ly e in keep in/n g' st r 0/n g ~lee

t00 the f/acts and e vent si eve n d's 0we. g.0 a.d.e~

would you like to see hat = c hat

serious t hat' s~t ar t

t h/at

i di.d. it f0r/m/e in te gritty e s0w e di.d.e n/eve/r b~al(l)0(0)ne e

Miss Guy Di.d.

the h-ag-t-hat-g-ot-a-way-e-

p aid t/ar e

pave' ta~m/ean t it

pave' ta~m/ean t it an~s w/ift g's j(awe)u st u' b. c.awes t0/n e 0'nature ally e

eso te rick

you do all the work for he-r-tu`-be-am-use-d-ly-e-

just seeing why e ar e qui et all the ta time

ti-me-lee-

se(e) X (ye) chi ne se t/0p~s

you're ang ry e, perhaps you can c re at e a p/age for t hat 0 pen ly e

camp this weekend, and sewing for dave~ don't have much to say or update, except that i am pink from the beach, found lice in my hair this morning weave, quickly dispatched by doing a salon treatment on me, and didn't sleep much last night even though i took 3 full courses of sleeping pills. it was too dang hot.

let's fi/n d aye w/hey e t0 g0/ d ear e

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 4, 2015 7:11:54 AM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

"g0/d bless" their indigent efforts ;)

g0/d b-less

something curious has happened, i am blatantly doing things that oughta piss people off, and it does, and i don't care. both instances i didn't do it on purpose (entering gym hrs on my phone contact, while at a read light that changed to green, and the person tried to turn in front of me, rightly so, he saw i was "texting" and i made him stop, and i didn't care).  it's like this, the rules of engagement, are a bunch of "p-l/ace" c-e- bull c-r/ap. the social mores, that i should be astute while driving, i am like, Y? there is no conversation here / heir. the second instance today, the "man" called me a cunt, and bitch, and i kept begging him for 2 syllables. he couldn't do it. not with several attempts. even with me trying to support him properly w/it. the post office was busy today, and traffic turning in was backed up into oncoming traffic that wanted to go straight. i happened to be the one mid turn and incoming traffic. the man in front of me, the not a "c un t" bye h-is-own-e-st-i-mat(e)-i-0n-e-, could go forward, but didn't, so i honked, and he gestures like what is he supposed to do with his arms out his window, and i think i will show him what he is supposed to do and i back up a bit, and pull forward and past him. i see an open spot, it is illegal as it has diagonal lines running thru it and a sign that says it is illegal to park there. i park there, after i look in the mirror and i think the guy that is not a "c un t" turned into the mail drop off lane, thinking that i wouldn't be taking his spot, i move to take The spot, and he tries to cut me off. i didn't let him and he yelled, a lot. and i didn't care. a lot.

i think the t r/i a.d.~e = very e t hing e t/r(i)a.d.e on e t hr u~

it is kin d'a funny e tu' be t/h0 t 0f/f~a person that doesn't s(e/e)care a l0 t

b i.g. a(i)nd / 0'0re lit tel l~e m(e)ark~e t

*em = u~n i/t fore a measuring w/i.d.th 0' p.r.in t/e d mat t'ere ve/n an~d

roat became rote and rot h e m0 te , c0/m-pet-it -i've-ly-e- pr0-bab(-l-)y-e-so-we-g0-

w/(h)r0at is with r0at by e wr0te n0~te

w/(h)r0at is with r0at by e w/r0te n0~te

the way you rot h it's like you all ready k new these thin g's

mer cur~e ye/i all

le t's e g0's s~ip it/he w/h0 d'0w-dye-

it's like a woman being comp-aire-d-to-ole-any-e-one-more-or-e- less-in-n si-gn if i can (-'-)t (--)ly e wit h c0n t r~ac/t a let tit re st

i have sewing this week to accomplish, one last blast of camp, and then hopefully summer forme~ ye p/lan to work on the rr website…

j/u st m.o.men (')ts before, you thought i was a w/him~p?

earlier before i con t ac/t~e d ye

a.m.en d' s~aye

i'll t all k L*~at~e re

i'm so excited, the color stripper is working. i have been tired of the red hair color and wanted to get back to natural, and it is my first time trying color stripper, and it is working. i all so cut my hair today, same b end 0/ver tech ni/que. i have bangs ear length, reminiscent of a shag, from the era of my sister / 'beat diggers.' also, have been wanting to swim a lot, so got a schedule from the pool, the new card for the gym to draw automated payments from (as i looked around and i pay 15 a month, locked in, and it isn't close to that now...) (i am a little bored with the gym, and haven't been regularly if at all since february, gained 21 pounds without trying, and really, am trying to/0 c are. curiously, my weight gain has prompted dirty ol-e- men to look at me lustifully, as i have a bust line / to speak of apparent ly e.

the social mo-re- thing, that i don't s(e/e)c/are, what i mean to convey is i don't feel guilt, even if my Miss S/take has been Miss In(n)terpreted ta day t.

ate tit re be l~l e a/s~te

pub L is H and 

luteinizing h0/r~m0/ne 

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 17, 2015 7:44:43 AM EDT

To: xubrnt@mac.com

i literally have to take a time out b.c. you are inn d0-but-

my larger computer is at the salon and probably will be all week long. there is no wi fi there, however i can work on website building etc. here i have the laptop that is so feeble to type on, and the new battery shrinks usage and the way i have the wiring to be concealed for recharging on e trapez0, i have to rush it back to the dock, and sit in my plants. this is an=s-od day err ange men t, that you p-lan=ed- with thoughtless "ness"-e-ven-

the inconvenience too this day, the char-lat-an t-ricks is a ripple effect of the -ad- de-ranged-

my hick~up~s t'all 0/0k up

t0 me : hi c k/up i~t/he

w/ hat a/ve ye

u no. u n~0we an d0 th~is an e te at i'm e

lu c~i.d.

lu cipher

(get lucifer and cipher and lucid definition *

lu sip her )

vote for ped r/0

ha rd

you

i t rave l~i g/ht

(t)hr u e

the n/e x t st~e pi/n e v0lut(e) i 0n e

v0lut~e as pi re all t00 x 2 0w/e t hr u e

sPoked 0 w/heels and 0/u/t side v0lut~e sp ring's

pee-pull that want you to f-eel guilt, want to d-raw/ (h) you back to-o- k-not-a-be hap pi ~e

pee-pull that want you to f-eel guilt, want to d-raw/ (h) you back to-o- k-not-a-b~*e very e t hing e (t) (a) hap pi ~e

mary lou wendell, the woman i worked for on call last summer, had to negotiate a 12 per hour, would schedule me for days and weeks and hours, and change on a whim, after i gave my flagging hrs to someone else, and couldn't get them back on her whim, was battling her husband, a lawyer, and by the looks of it, that was THE I/R business together, and this battling has been going on for "ye-ars-e-"... mary lou couldn't see to give me a living age, and hrs that related to paying my waye pre sent ly e. the crime (scene / see-n-0w/e-) is thin-king-t-hat-h-ey-e- de serve the m 0ne ye t~ma.d.e~, and in doing s-ow-e- t-hey-e- don't see me as de serving i/n re all i ty e.

mary lou couldn't see to give me a living age = w/age

Y f e/e L n0 guilt act u al~ly e & in not seeing me pre sent ly e ar e blaming me for "falling in l0ve" t-act-i-c-ly-e-

i first met mary lou via craigslist via an ad for a painter, 20 an hour. didn't think it was possible, as i hadn't seen a wage with dignity since 2006. andy (awesome, i have to look up his name) doukas emailed me the listing. i couldn't contact her via the email or phone, i didn't think it was legit, and had to many scams on craigslist. andy asked if i got the job, told him i couldn't get anyone to answer, and he made the connection for me. seems like a g0/d de all, except as you know, andy couldn't wouldn't represent me in court with avesta. neither would could pine tree legal, the public service provider in court, that informed me the day of court, in court, that i would be representing myself. anyway, mary lou hired 2 people, another woman painter & sculptor, in her 60's, and she thought i was in my 20's, as she asked me if i was attending school. the place we were painting was an apartment turnover, in a house of apartments, mary lou and her husband owned. i said to the woman that i would take the peaked roof living room, with beams (to cut around) and lighting, and she took the back bedroom and hallway. i chose to take the most difficult, ie overhead ceiling work. i could tell mary lou was versed in painting herself as she painted the previous color, a sandy teal, that the new tenant didn't like, a male, and he chose several colors, which were not right for the coastal place / architecture (wasabi green) until he decided on a bright dark blue for the accent wall, the rest was painted white, ceiling and adjacent walls. i wrapped mary lou's job for her, as the new tenant was moving in. the bathroom tub drain was blocked with thick black hair, and i unclogged it with my 5 in 1, and wiped down the surfaces of the bathroom, so he could fully move in. the only thing i left as i didn't know what to do with it, was a big mound of plastic drop cloths and jobsite garbage. the new tenant, studying here to be a doctor, and musically and artistically inclined (therefore i understood his desire to get his color comfortably right) worked, and moved in around it. i wrapped the jobsite and did what mary lou should have done herself or had someone else under another job title do. she raved, at my work, my speed, my efficiency, just on and on. she contacted me later to see what i could do at her house on the island, and min0 and i would take the ferry and i would watch kids, weed, ride mtn bikes, catch frogs, baby sit at skate parks, and work at the rental apartment house. when mary lou first asked to have me work with her beyond the painting, she asked how much, and i said she would have to meet or beat my flagging rate of (9 to) 12 dollars an hour. she thought 12 was too much. when she would ask me to work x amount of hrs and change her mind, i negotiated that i got a days pay, even if she canceled. we did this once (as if she didn't hear me) and she said she "can't"-- the whimsical on calling and canceling shortening and lengthening went on, and what i thought would be ideal for flexible hours, was a job that made it precarious to know if i would make ends meet, and i did not own my life at all. ... i am working at the apartment house, 2, 3 story... it is tall with a pitched roof and i am cutting branches and bushes of the many gnarly dead wood in the back yard, and i am asked to cut the vine / tree that is (surprise) intertwined with the phone lines. so glad i am a real painter, to know where to put the ladder and not put it and take my time to pick the vine one by one, so i don't snip a live wire... it is a lot of work, productive work, visibly productive work. she asks me to unload a spare room, and in it are many boxes, of books, of legal / school studies. i worked on my sprained ankle (many times over ie that is how i found out min0 played frisbee as the 4th time i turned it, the damage took a long time to heel, and i was reminded of the for-ray-e- very step of the way)... i do this work, i know it is good work, a lot of good work for $12 an hour. she has me watch her kids after school, sometimes go and get them as i work on the yard. she asks me to meet her to unload the basement. we are talking and it smells moldy. i ask her about the contents, like umpteen spare tires, suitcases, boxes, paper bags, paint supplies, gardening supplies, shit, like is it to be thrown out and who does it belong to? she doesn't know and she doesn't care she wants it moved. we meet the next day and i still have a vague awareness of what i am supposed to "move" so i ask again and mention the mold, that she said she would get a mask, and that she provided a dust mask, and not one with carbon / respirator. she flippantly told me to use it or not at all. she also said to my request, that if this belongs to her tenants (that her paying her bread and butter with her on going spitefulness with her husband as be-(a-)st-) that she should let them know, give them a message / memo, and a day to move there stuff before i did in her behalf. i empathized with the tenants as i am a tenant and i pay rent and i have sold my good image out, because i believed in the virtue of paying rent. when we meet that morning and the flippant reply and the new guy she has hired because he has a truck (he can afford) and he will haul the stuff i have put out front, i tell her... i am tired and i am going home to take a nap, and i never went back. she emailed, texted, told me the kids missed me. i didn't care. the take away for me is 1. i can't give her enough of my life to make it right, and she will nonsensically drain me d-ry-e-. 2. because i went from 20 an hour as an experienced painter demonstrating my ability, to $12 an hour (maybe) as the cut rate of a whole day of work to a few hrs = $2 to 4 dollars an hour... w-hen all is s-aid-&-do-n-e- she flippantly cut my value to contribute m(e)in d & b 0/d~y e. 3. her "k-i.d.'s" are a poor excuse in re all i ty e. 4. additionally, one of her kids was getting into trouble at school and he liked to be truant. she said she would get a team of lawyers to go to that (new) school (again), i'm just saying, over m'ye de a.d. b/0d~ye ve/n. i got t ire d of the nuance that i didn't amount to a hill of be ans, that i can't afford to have kids or a truck to get better work but "thanks" for "thinking" of "me." 5. she has money but has to wire it to an acct, and she paid me with a check that bounced, and i spent my time not working for her at the bank, asking them not to charge me the overdraft fee. i wan't making bank i wasn't making anything and it was k-illing me.

t-he-i/r- e l0ve scene is curiously peer -e- less and s-po-t- less, i mean their "love" is scene as bein gt = gilt, g0 all den, instead of guilt-y-e-. their "love" is "seen" as ell eme(a)nt all ye scene a virtue of necessity e re as 0n e very e t hing e(-ven-t- ) x ( & i am not seen e c0/m mit t'all en dustrious ly e)

in-s-a.d.-ef-fect, t-he-i/r-e- are blaming me tu` be sol-d-ou(-b-)t for f-alling- in l0-v-e- times - vert-(h)u`e  /-&-/  vert-(h/r)u(e) in reflection... ul(l)time mate ly e~ye don't want to work in a caustic environment for no reason actually e

eros

(h) e/r 0's (e/e d)

s~h e/r 0's e

shar(e) 0s e

the 'h' frames the f ate

b/rain

h 2 0w/e. g.0' s~a.m.e w/et a/i'm e

i'm mac u l/ate

p.s. i am going to s~ee lee p

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 5, 2015 5:15:16 PM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

t0/r 0l'l0 a.m. e

grass on the mt rather than g-r/ass-ing-

you know these things, do you just want me to/o st/ate them for/t/he(~a.d.)e

main e t0 w/he a.d.e law/~e ar e t he/r/e

c t = see t, sea t, sit ye, c i ty~e see 2 sea t0/0 k~c

do you do every thing the ha rd way e sow that you c/an do the right a by e w/rit~e ven t u al~ly e ?

i t'0le ye w/e. g. i'll t

w hat's up?

p l/ay e t0/u/r e st re n gt(h)'s

r u~e r/ich en 0.u g huff in s 0/m e

u r g0/d at a.b.e in see n/0w~e 

0 C 0/me 0n ~e

i fi x it 0/m e~

u want 2 fi x it wit h~

it see ms, your s(e/e)pi r/i tu` all i ty e doesn't be lie v in ew/e

it will b/0 0k e ve/n~st ink (e)ye

i made a lot of progress with sewing for dave 0. andy is having a bad day, and hasn't eaten much lately. will visit him soon, after min0 and i groove. i like the van/fonts here. i like funky 70's bell bottom be h/ave vi 0/r e : tall k so~on e

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 7, 2015 8:51:10 AM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

L(0ve)ye 0n~s (e) g/ate

S(e/e.)g.

speci fi c g/r/av(e)i t~ye  t0/0 c0 a/s t in ge ne~re all e a.d.

min0 has a shock collar aka "static", and i have a rem0te all s0w e. he has segued nicely, we tried in the fields i last expressed, i will not take him back until he is wearing a shock collar (as it began to rain and min0 ran, for every 'come', and when i got close to nab him, he ran for fun... we me in nice sandals and mud).  i don't have to use much level of shock, and min0 now has cause to pay me with attention anny e way e. it is cool. i don't mind if he sniffs and carries on a dalliance, even when i call him, as i am asking him a question, often: min0 let's go this way e van e. when he pays me no attention i buzz the cheer neck 0. he thinks now when i say let's g0: he thinks to think of me, instead of doing the opposite robustly e. i am glad he can be off leash, that he can go to the fields, that we can throw frisbee in town, and when he wants to run off to planet dog around the corner, on his own, i can call him and buzz ap pr0/v~e 

n an d' s 0/m e~ 0n e

new/e's will 0 w/h0~r~k f0/r/t/e` ven~s 0we 

so, i think it interesting 'house' has sales, for 'saving's ake(/) b rig ht i~q/u e st i 0n e ven t hr u e~g0

(0)k f~0 all e t's de fi n~e i/t

you re me~e k~f t0 me a.d.

by the way, it seems really odd to me, the male god has no p/ar~t/ne/r e in~s Pea k in g.

and when i think of the devil and that my social security number ends in 6660, zer0 m(e)in d y0u?, and taking these connotations into consideration, i would h/a ve t~0' s/s~aye, the devil (per m/e) is hurting no 0ne t0 day T.

i question why the propensity for "savings" i question it with myself, i question as i stalk a patrica nash bag and macy has a sell, and the percent off changes daily, i get tired of the b-s- and refuse to look now, but still i feel, yes my income while i have savings fine ally, i still deserve to s/ave as i can... seeking savings in the market place has become a way of life, for many, for many strategists, like j.c. pen ny e, tried a new model of not offering "savings" on their all ready inexpensive items, and people stopped shopping. so i question 'house' / wonder about, have you inclined your self to seek shoppers to seek "savings" they can "see"? i am not intending to put a marked spin on the words to infer you are the scene, just in the context of our ti-me's- i have been seeking savings radically, and reducing overhead, and yes, i am oddly inclined to buy nice things, like a want for a rocking chair that costs more than my last 4 cars put together. however, i for one can value a really good rocking chair, having rocked several to pieces, my parents... one after another. let's just say i am an expert in a way to know the comfort i seek any e way e.

on hurting 'no one' , ironically, the many paged verdict on the court case with avesta stated by the judge that i was 'hurting n0 0ne." which makes me think if i am playing the role of the 'devil" live D B a~c K f0r e. g. i've in g, it makes me think there is a ho-ly-e- am-mount- o'l lar-scene-ye- in right-i-0-u-s-pre-e-ten-d-in-g-all-the-t-i'm-e-

t-heft. p/et-ty-e- & g-ran-d-

my fashion sense is changing. you know i used to oggle fashion and such and shoes, that i have no place to wear and are entirely impractical in maine. i still look at fashion like g/ar/b like art current culture. i just look to/o c. women's fashion, i view it differently. i have worn second skin dresses in the past, not a bandage dress, but something that lays close the skin and follows it even, is good for my build that is athletic (most of the time) and if i don't define my waist, i look like a boxy square. 

now i am not inclined to, well let me see, i still like this way of dressing, i view it, however i am not inclined to dress that way even if i had a reason to day t. mostly, i want to dress for me, and i want that to be understood, so i mentally edit clothing, fashion for/m/e, and trying to be "sexy" ... i'm not trying to look like i am pimped out, probably past the age to be convincing except in low light, but respectfully with added experience, and purview/ (h)ing e, i would like to dress for me, the way i want to be, and not have that be 'miss-interpreted': i like what chole is doing right now with den~i'm shir(e)t dresses. it isn't about showing my body (even if i want to hide girth?) i like the chic ness, without feeling i am selling myself o/ut~an d e/ye c~an g(h)et~t0 w0rk e as i'll ye~

i like this one, and i like the boots. at the designer price, i probably will make my own. however i look, at the construction, and i like chloe's chicness best, michael kors is too military, and oddly perfunctory for a dress (it is all about business -and- a common house (wife) dress), marc jacobs makes me feel like a quirky girl, and i am not comfortable in my skin being immature on purpose to set~he ap p/art' -e-ven-, for a dress that is actually in its bones unattractive at best. top shop has a "good buy" but the dress is so run of the mill, i would ask myself why i bought for 50 on sale, with no desire to wear.

the other push, i just checked the chloe dresses, and they are all ready pre sold out, for 300 - 365 dollars. i have been thinking i ought to make my own clothing. so perfect excuse.

the biggest t hr e at e too~the industry e c/ould be w/hen rye~s a term l(0/ve)u X u/r y~e X per T c0 in e/d f0r 'hi~g~h ear~n ere not e Rich yet' 0 pen ly e tu' suck see d e/b t hr u~e very e t hing e 

*T C = in greek o rig in = (make by e) ar t (h) (e a/ve~n d's end 's)

*T C = in greek o rig in = (make by e) ar t (h) (e a/ve~n d's end 's end d/ing's 0 ap pen ly e w/ pr0 vi/s i 0n e in/n 

w hat is in te r e st in g is~t, you know without the p~r0 per frame work and fret work, religion looks like the save i 0/u/r~ what i mean is religion looks as if it is providing a good function, w/hen religion is actually exclusive all over the p-L-ace- and this can be demonstrated over t i'm e. what i am saying is, i'm(e)m(e)unity~e, and i get the g i/s~t, t hat i s(e/e)pi/n and make a meme of every e b 0/dy e~ye w/ant 2 act u all y e k.f. f0ra re as 0n e t0 me t hat~ye~w/e c.an see

b l0u for instance, your f ave 0/r i/te c0 l0 re~ 

i'm writing x righting the bi b L(ove) e(very e t hing e) with lan~g u age engine~are in g / j~u st's a.m.~e an d j(awe)0/b i.g. (e X am~p le. g. i'ven) & g.i. (gastro in te st i/n (e)all) : the d0g the t0tem t0 me, the d0g smells the p/as~s~aye~s and ye w/e ar e t/he~m/e te~ar~n un~d~er e. g. a in/n sat is f/ac~t i 0n e in th'0 pen an d~

r/ich and shar0ne  are all ready me/me t0 me~ an/d ye, br0 ken ;) c/an se a.m. ke(e)n an d b l0!u b~aye b/be~e 

it is my way of bein g w/ry~e 

be h/ave in g 4 j~0/b~ e a.d. d/in g c l0 thing~e

w/ be~le a f x f0r/m/e~ 

be l~l r/i~n g in/n g = doesn't this have biblical reference sing?

the exclusivity of religion for no reason can be demonstrated over time to me, as the people i do not i'll u st r/ate will feel excluded for a reason 0 pen ly e

0ddly e sat is f(i) yin g

not that i am intending to exclude any one / "one" / -one- for the per pose of my p lea sure, well sure i am actually. i am doing it for my own me as u/re tu` be in te r pre t/te d act yl/ly e & t/hus~s be see n 0w/e ft 0/m e an d f0r/m/e~

e X e cu t e : to do and e/b t0/0 k i'll at/he' s a.m.e t i'm e ac/t u all y e.

i'm meeting andy to see ant man tonight.

0ver an d/0~ut 

0ver an d/0~u/t as 0/n~e~ From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 9, 2015 12:48:51 AM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

he'll 0~ work went longer than expected last night, appts for one child turned into an extra one for a parent, and then it happened again. a treatment, depending on the length of hair (to comb thru) can last an hour to 1.5 on average. got home late, and had an early morning appt in nh. christine emailed the address, and she let me know she needed time alone, and away from her phone (it never stops ringing) and i get it and was happy she was going for it... however, the email she sent didn't include an address, after i thawed my computer with frozen peas because it over heated, to read the email ... the address couldn't be found by mapquest, only the town. the next day after 5 or 6 hrs sleep, i got ready to go and the gps wouldn't find the address. back inside to the computer, and nope. i didn't have a phone of the client and i didn't have the ability to call christine so i just decided i would wend my way to the town, and i got a ticket, $185 by officer brian h?ink. i thanked him, sincerely. he was nice, and i'm e tired, and i treated it as a reality check. the route i go there is 55 speed limit to 40's 30's & 20's as you wend thru little towns with ant i.q.u~e

's... on the other hand, $185 is a big splurge! and i fretted a little about not earning any money today and being in the whole for going to work, however, the client, after i found a patron walking in nh in the town, about the road, if she knew, she looked on her phone, and google maps showed right where it was, and i went there, and hr late, and i did 3 treatments, with a little girl acting uncharacteristically bad as she may have a possible uti, and so there was that wailing and drama, and then there was a micro power outage, and had to figure out if the machine didn't work, or the outlet, etc... and i had lunch with them, the place really is in a wonderful setting, on mountain road, and yes you take this road all along the mountain trail, thru trees and brush and hill and dale and i keep asking myself if someone really does live out here... and we had lunch of lamb and quesadillia and couscous and avocado, and i received a 150 tip... min0 crapped inside and he feels bad i know as he is very eager to seek love and approval from me, and i don't fret, i didn't give him the time he needed this morning, however, so awesome, while the apartment smells like crap it is not crap, as min0 went on the little rubber mat i lay out to the side in the apartment for times like these. so, its all good, we played frisbee in the setting sun and then the lights on each tree came on at the museum park, and we kept play. he was a glow, i have a rubber mat in the laundry, and i have looked online about not paying my ticket. i think i may try this option to see if i have too... ho w are you ?

i don't sup por(e)t the gallery in the building, i don't look at the art, well, only in passing, this schtick with ave-st-a- it has st re am lined my efforts. the problem with me-s/hell- and here me-as-u-re-s- on e me, have been en-able-d- by avesta appearing to give a s(e/e)hi T. me-s/hell worked her ang-le-as-e-very-e-thing-e-w/e-re-0n-e- & some how it seems 0 pen ly false to me to think ave-st-a- sup pore t's an artist and doesn't really st-and- in the way of the re all sup pore t fi/n d/in g the may k~e r/e pre sent ly e. the long way of saying i see and sense right thru (e) w/e 

are you a f/raid my d ear ?

actually, i may have got that ticket in maine... no worries. it's like i didn't get a tip today, but still got w/ages 

t i.p. 2 yew/h0 e

yep i checked, parsonsfield is in maine. i'm paying it. righting a check. fine~ i usually try and think about these things, like why did it happen? well, i kinda thought i might get a ticket. i mean, i know when the tension is taught on per po se/e, and i am getting tired, as i did laundry earlier this week, and forgot to put detergent in it. (i didn't forget today). it is managing chaos and making it work and that is great and apparently i am good at it, and christine raves thanks. i'm trying to triage this abundance of activity, on call. it is difficult with an under tow, not so much min0 as a dependent, except when i can't process him with enough time to poop before i go, and i could have brought him with me, but i wasn't sure if it was going to be too hot, and he would be better off in the apartment. i think when i get tired, i subtly start to make poor decisions. and, i was frustrated this morning. and yesterday. yesterday felt like a day i would do, and could never get in synch to/o. i thought briefly as i was doing errands and laundry and min0 and apartment things and meeting with andy to run appts and errands for him, and i am feeling slightly angry (i would like some time for me) and christine calls to give me the details about today and well, she texts first, and one question is followed by another, and i answer one, and she replys to question 2, and the dialogue is ajar, and so is the understanding and then the questioning, and when i would like a little free time, one appt to go to later in the after noon, turns into 3, and 3 while i am there turns into 5 prefaced by dialogue in the middle of the short bit of time to do my own thing. i'm not complaining about the work, or christine calling. it is the other end of it. the some how, i can't liberate from the andy network. there is reason per se for just concern about his health, however i think he is also very skilled in leverage. my dog hunnee, that i re named honie, with some other permutations along the way, in her blindness, she was still a smart dog, playing me. she would zig zag on a leash, and i felt bad for my wee pet, and i would get near shoulder injury walking with her, and then i get a beef stick and the blind dog can walk a perfect straight line off leash and follow me... if she finds me compelling, if i carry the beef stick, otherwise she is playing the perfect pity dog. andy does this. he can't help it. he tries to nickel and dime on some level and i do it back. granted, it has been in my benefit this summer to have a car to drive to camp. we can say there is a symbiotic benefit, however, it is difficult because andy just gives up and i know he is pitying himself on one hand and feeling some real emotion he doesn't share about what he views as his demise, and working his n-ow-e-pi-ty-e- on me or any body. his "dying" makes me angry on some level, where i perceive it is an ac-t-, and there is no way of stating it without being comp lic(e) it

i'm sorry i feel like i am babbling and i trying to get to some where, and i feel however, i am going at it in the wrong direction. per haps, i will qui t, for t/0n i te 

i'm not quit ting ew e

it is like this, ahhhh! i am on the cusp of my own salutation. and i am being pulled in e many directions. the work and making m(e) 0n e ye, and i feel great and sturdy about that, and christine that we struggled valiantly and i have let her know that, we are solid. there is the layer of the work itself which can wear you down (ware you d 0wn ?) yeah, i mean, i am happy about having savings, yet i am not totally put out nor willing to plead indigent to work the ticket off as i have in the past, or not pay it as i have in the past or put it on a credit card before i file bankruptcy like i have in the past. i am turning a corner, i need to re see d e/b the situation, that i feel confident in sustainability and i can spend money and even prodigally,  to a degree ie pay the sy-s-tem- imbued with the hope and bee lea f that i am ok with it.

i'm trying to get a t's 0/m e t/hing/e ~ m'0n e~ye is not a b-0n(e)-d-age-thing-e- it is something t/0g & ge t 2 by e

the thing i am trying to get at is well s h0 0t, m'as t~e r/e m(e)in d in e mine d, and the pity in my life, re all as it may se-a.m.-e- is t-axing. i am trying to give it the s hi ft f0r/m/e X c lu si've ly e

i'm trying to get a t's 0/m e t/hing/e ~ m'0n e~ye is not a b-0n(e)-d-age-thing-e- it is something t/0g & ge t 2 by e t0/0 the re t e/ar n inn g's Peak e

i wrote the ticket to the "Vi-0-L-at(e)-i-on-s-" (i'm)B-u-re-0-

the "system" sucks on every e "fxf" rone "t" : just saying, you don't fi g.ht a "ticket" with s 0/m e b/0 dy~e. (t he/r e is n0 0ne tu' be a.c. c0unt en able ly in re all i ty e) "i/t" own-ly-e- se-am-s- t-(h)at- w-aye- tu-be-a-f/air-e-

g0t ta c ar~rye the be (a) f' s~t i/c/k

i'll tell you about m0. she is 70's in a wheel chair, lives on congress street, min0 and i met her late one light and i think she had been drinking as she was without inhibitions in putting her true face for e ward. min0 and i approached and min0 loves affection and he likes to be petted and he is very attentive when he is petted, and m0 said she is 70 (something) and she doesn't know what she is waiting for, that she has been * stalling all her life. she says min0 is a tote'm animal to me and she got that the purpose, she asked his name and she didn't like 'minn0w' and thought he needed a different name and that he would tell me, when he didn't 'tell' me she thought about it and said this dog is an e ag l/e. i liked her meta p h0 r, with simple resolve to c all min0 just b.c. she said min0 and i need to be needed. i thought she was sage. she suggested we go to the ho's~pi~t/all as the dog is a healer and that i am a great healer. it was an interesting lucid conversation with a very nearly a street person, the dispossessed & with hardly a ll i'm b 2 wag a b/0ut i.t.

why do you feel so b ad?

i pulled this for you however it is how i feel. i h/ave a p/lan (e)

something curious may be happening with christine. we do spend time talking on the phone here and there for business and then personal exchange in the down time or off time and along the lines of another work conversation. i think i may be revealing that i am capable of being in her position of running a business like hers but am choosing not to e~ when i think about our conversations and i give her my observation and i empathize with her position in that i get her pressures and it is her bur den and her name that backs our premeditated gain- yet, she is run ragged for    (-w/-r-)it . playing the mid del le d p0 si/t i 0n e c0/m~e w/be ne fi t~s

some how it automatically makes me quest i 0n e, if you can speak but are choosing not to e~

are you avoiding responsiblity?

the t-win -2- t-0wn (') t/r.a.d.(-e-)0f/f-sh-0w's-

u need a beef stick 2 (k)f all 0 w/e. g. 0

you are not w/h0 you see m~e

i'm signing 0x

--

(bought a tarot reading for bespoke@houseind.com)

p(lace)ass w0rd = houseandhome

f0r u~e

change the pass word later if you like, as it stores your questions to day t

t rye i.t.

as k it a question and se(e) w hat you think 

(bought one for me)

3 of cups

spend a lot of time in each others company, not all positive happy time, card is talking about positive special experience, sharing process, celebration, chance to be with people that really want to be you, make every moment a reason to smile laugh exchange something sweet and special, a little treacly, but something we all need from time to time, chance to be supported like have n't felt as in the past, improvement could be social, physical, begin to heal, wounded situation begins to heal, or problem that has been source of stress and discomfort shows signs of turning itself around, see way forward inspired by much more positive outlook on life

queen of coins

wondering if you are worthy of success, a part of you knows there are certain things you could do, another part thinks not that good, stand on threshold on shall i or shant i take a big step forward to a rise in status, self importance, self confidence, confidence in the eyes of other people, who look to you and trust you andconsider you an upright person, feel as if maybe you could let other people down, maybe shown to be a bit of a fraud, not quite as pure as the driven snow and this will work against yu (then look around at people hold positions of authority and ask whether exactly the same couldnt be said of them) all you need right now is confidence, trust in your self, a willingness to keep doing what you are doing, and allowing  what is naturally unfolding to the next stage of an important process of your life, you are going to be looked after, elevated, raised up, introduced to people that can help you and you can help in return, not a question of receiving charity, it is finding your rightful place, queen of  coins take you there and have fun in the journey as long as you don't start doubting your self, if you begin to worry fret fear then next phase of life will be arduous, successful, probably, but still demanding effort of you, if relax and trust next step with right result will unfold

ten of cups

togetherness feeling you have friends loved ones companions colleagues people who mean something to you and to whom you mean something with whom you have a shared sense of purpose, belonging, comfort, support, a feeling i'm safe here and this is a good place to be, and these people around me are good people, and what i am a part of now, i can be proud of and grateful, you are supported, no matter difficulties in life, somewhere in life there is a tremendous source of support and strength , maybe not immediately obvious and visible, maybe where coming from or to, but it is there all right, it is there is a very warm, comforting and tangible way, and means some sense of earthing to situation, perspective, protection and comfort to, no matter what is going on in your life, nothing can threaten or harm in your life, a sense of emotional involvement and commitment to people that are really worth involving 2

summary

story, once upon a time king and queen,  had a beautiful daughter, to celebrate invited 12 faeries to the christening and forgot the 13th, the 12 faries gave a gift and the 13th gave a curse. actually every things is really good, but there is a threat,  a problem, in the shape of someone that doens't want you to make the progress which you are entitled to or some how feels hurt or left out, and a little bit of psychology on your part, ask who could it be somebody's nose is being put out of joint, by my actions or circumstances i am entering into. it may not be obvious, as surely you would have done something by now to compensate for them, so look over your shoulder as wells as straight ahead, and be aware that some how for all sorts of reasons that do not make very much sense that none the less seam very well to the person in question you are causing offense somewhere, and if you can reach out to the individual, group of people, offended parties, and find some way to bridge the gap then you can avoid the possibility that your happiness will be spoiled by somebody elses resentment of it : here there is a need to reach out to someone that you do not see eye to eye someone you do not necessarily understand at all and they do not understand you and form  if not the worlds most ideal relationship, at least an agreement to differ which is based on noble  principles, give it a try, and i think you find when you address that area of conflict or potential conflict in your world, everything that now currently seems shaky or insecure becomes stable all around

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 9, 2015 1:37:03 AM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

ironically, i can see andy-e-per-say-e- is not my problem as stated, just my f/ear. the f/act in e my eb/be st be h/ave

he is just someone that se-am-e t0 take the he-at-e f0ra n0 t bein gc 0/m p le te

i fe/e l bet te r z 0/n e tu'b(e) 0le

b0le b.t.w/aye = a red clay molding to gilt , a trunk of a tree, and a rounded mass b0l(e)us, like what a cow ma/st i c ate s

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 9, 2015 1:48:40 AM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

b0le b.t.w/aye = a red clay molding to gilt , a trunk of a tree, and a rounded mass b0l(e)us, like what a cow ma/st i c ate s (e/e) directi0n al~ly e

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Subject: boomerang leg

Date: August 11, 2015 7:28:49 PM EDT

To: Linda Gallion

Hello Rick and Linda!

I hope this year and particularly this summer is treating you well.

This Thursday, I will passing thru your area, probably sunny side of after noon. What is the possibility of stopping by and picking up a boomerang leg?

Talk soon, & take care 2,

Angela

From: Gallion

Subject: Re: boomerang leg

Date: August 11, 2015 7:36:18 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Hi Angela,

I'll be here all day.  See you when you get here.

Rick

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Subject: Re: boomerang leg

Date: August 11, 2015 7:36:55 PM EDT

To: Gallion

great, see you then~

Date: August 12, 2015 10:36:23 AM EDT

To: xubrnt@me.com

you are at home and you feel good about sharon's generousity and you feel i have dangerous overconfidence

sharon n-owe-f-e-e-l's i am trickery and "art full" deceptions~ (she must feel pre t?tye con fi de n?t

yesterday i had camp, 2 hr drive in nh. a mac flat bed truck was going really fast (read past the speed limit) (in the same area i got a ticket) i couldn't help speeding up and s~h/ad~0 w/in g. its a compulsion of sorts i recognize, like when i had theF(ix)O(r)R(epair)D(aily) truck, and the more it nickel and di-med me the more i wanted to get my money out of it. it eventually won-e-, when the battery rusted thru and dropped into the alternator-e- 2-. anyway, as i speeded up to make gains over the terrain that sunk a stone in my wallet i thought of the f.o.r.d. ie the thought passed to not replicate i~"t"

that said i still liked being a stealthy shad0w/(h)e a/ve n

on the way back into portland, i pass joann's fabric and bought velcro to fix my sleep mask, and i looked at fabric to maybe make my own s~her t dress. i like the black base for fall winter, and the oriental influence. i took a picture, one is chiffon and the other is an eyelet. i didn't buy as now i wonder if, well, with the time invested to make my own clothing, if i will out grow my desire for it. i'm hanging with the idea... as i proceeded home and, seriously, started being captivated by 'jumpsuits'... i spent all night looking at jumpsuits i might like to buy. i like 6397 of nyc, that means 'news' apparently on your phone... i liked one, not all of their offerings, in fact i feel their clothes are "pretty"ugly (jo lie l aid e)~ i didn't like the maid to look 'worked in' so much to be f ray e/d and dirtye. buying de sign e/re clothes that are fain(t)ly dirty was like to much to contemplate, i did however like their new and shiny navy denim jumpsuit, that has now, sold out. what i like about it is the thing the brand is striving for, clothes for women, unembellished with anything unnecessary, with a boyish spirit. i like the unembellishment. that is appealing to me, and curiously as i checked out other jumpsuits, there were a lot of women in their 50's ironically leaving comments about how their style is changing…

per the reason they are 'jumping' 0/n i.t.

so, i g/ave in to/o looking, as often, i can see around corners thru my per usings. what i came away with last night, is yeah, jumpsuit, i get it, the cur~rent compulsion. is it re all? why was i making this such a hallmark symptom, in a way? the compulsion on the outside is balancing a compulsion on the inside, that i don't want to address. a 'jumpsuit' might be nice, however, when i saw the 6397 i selected, sold out, while looking at it online, i found another vendor and pictures, and i am like, this is ugly. how about if i make a jumpsuit, if i feel i really need one. (i actually extrapolated the idea of a track jumpsuit, with research that shows the 'jumpsuit' trend has been around since 2013) and then presented with the re all work of making it f~or/m~eye sel~l f, it tempers my de si re ve/n t0 w0rk~n0w l/edge & w/heal lt h reflectively inn i/s~0 w/h0~u/t~e t0 me

the w/inn i/s 0w/h0 u/t~e ve/n d's

this reminds me of christopher reed, he is a local artist, and i saw him first friday art walk several months ago. he had these small sublime paintings and i said they looked like mark rothko, the light. chris listened to me, he hadn't seen me for a while, and talked about ave-st-a- taxing me in court as t-h/ey-e- need a face of self worth t-h/ey-e c-ain't-may ke. chris spoke of his own journey of overcoming inner boundaries, and for him he just realized to be an artist is to b w/h0~u~t. to be an artist is to be out visually and he has gleened serenity. it was a nice conversation and particularly caring and he got how me taking on avesta with a website, can be scary for me to n-ow-e find work representationally e. which is to say, he understood my predicament with himself act u al~ly e.

work wise, sorry my meanderings are not really basking in visual prominence per the invested activity. 2 more camps this week, then a segue to harness my time better for me. i get to see rick on the way back from camp thursday, to retrieve my boomerang table leg. it is probably a meta for s0/me t hing e.

i don't know what to tel~l 0/u, if you feel in e rt 0n e my e ta t i'm e

tu`

per t hr u : p.s. i am having a quesadilla moment with black beans i put chocolate stout in. chocolate, and coffee, i have found, compliments the earthy bean flavoring. andy had a party and he had extra beers (he doesn't drink), i didn't want to drink it t heir i wanted to drink it h ear e

as~well

sow/ hi am working on a plan at ~ ta

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@me.com>

Date: August 14, 2015 7:06:58 AM EDT

To: "xubrnt@mac.com" <xubrnt@mac.com>

just to be fair, why do you not feel incrimination for everyone of your custom'eres here? i have been working, a lot, and every time i check in to communicate, i think k-- not... thoughts from yesterday i kept to myself, per the seeking of higher a-ware-ness (but doesn't make love a de st i/n/nati0n pre sent)

0ne could say all this making of "higher" a ware ness, is just vanity e with no relati0nship act u al~ly e

like and-y-e-g0-0d-man- c-h/ang-e-the-s-t0r-eye- with no re~p ly e

h-all0w-ed-he-all-t-h-

don't blame me for tu`-ne-

he-art- s-h/ape-d-b-0x-